Good Cold Sunday Morning..time to vent

Brrrr it’s cold, I dont know why all the air conditioners are on at work, its cold outside, just open up a windowwww!!

The weekend went by rather quickly 😦 … My closest friend’s cousin passed away from heart failure *allah yr7ama* I’m not good with these types of situations, I never know what to say. I’ve never really faced death until I came here. Back when my grandma died I just felt sad for my dad, I never knew her so I couldn’t feel any sadness. Then my uncle passed, and same thing, I didn’t know him either but I felt sad again for my dad. My cousin died in his sleep at 23 and he was perfectly healthy, I might have not felt any pain, but I did start to think about life and death. I started to think that some things we do are just not worth the consequences in the after life. It’s very hard to change your lifestyle or “bad habits” when you know that you shouldn’t be doing them. When I moved to the Gulf, I never realized how common death is. The majority of the time I hear about death caused by accidents. I could give you a list of all the people I met since I’ve been here who have passed away or who have family members that passed and all were very young.

It’s like it’s a constant reminder, this life is temporary…Last year a close friend of mine passed away in a car accident and it took me about a month to sort out my thoughts, regain my sanity, and move on. I thought about good and evil, vices and virtues, and the road to the right path. First bad habit to go out the window was music. When you are trying to sleep and music keeps replaying in your head over and over like you have your own personal station in your head, then you know you have a problem. Music is the sound of the devil, I know, you know it, we all know that listening to music is a sin. You can deny it all you want, and I’m not trying to preach, but I stopped because it’s simple, music = hellfire.  If it’s something I’m doing intentionally, then it’s something I can quit. It’s not something I can completely cut out *like music at weddings* but I personally have stopped and instead started listening to the Quran. It feels like a cleansing experience and although its a struggle to stay on the right path, I’m taking it one step at a time, and I try to remind myself that death can approach you at any minute. This reminds me, on Friday, the sun was engulfed by a large, black cloud and in seconds it was like a sand storm and a thunderstorm in one. I watched every minute of it, and it might have lasted about 10 minutes and then it just rained for about 5 and then the sun came out again. During that time, people were sending out broadcasts saying pray in case it was Judgment Day. And this again is a reminder to me, that I shouldn’t wait until moments like these because then it’ll be too late. I’ll probably post more topics related to this because, like I said, it is a struggle and I need reminders.


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